The Role of the Friend: Study 1.2

The Role of the FRIEND: WEEK 3

Womens Bible Study GUIDED NOTES

OUR ROLE AND OUR CALLING

THE FRIEND

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11

The truth is, when someone is willing to talk to us about another person, they are very likely just as willing to talk to another person about us. ⁣

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There are over 30 verses in scripture about the damage caused by gossip and slander. Why do we take it so lightly? It is a spiritual issue that reveals the state of our own hearts and how we view God's children.⁣

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By no means am I innocent of this. It has been a common struggle for me and my close friendships (and it is most difficult not to do it with my husband!) ⁣

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But before we talk about someone else, let us T.H.I.N.K:⁣

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Is what I'm about to say Truthful?⁣

Is it Helpful?⁣

Is it Inspiring?⁣

Is it Necessary?⁣

Is it Kind?⁣

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If the answer is no to any of these things, let us hold our tongues. ⁣

GOSSIP IS A SPIRITUAL ISSUE. TALKING BADLY ABOUT SOMEONE SAYS FAR MORE ABOUT YOU THAN THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

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EPHESIANS 4:29

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

JAMES 1:26

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.”

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE TO BE A GODLY FRIEND:

A good friend…

1. IS ENCOURAGING

1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up.” That is the kind of friend Christ calls you to be! You should rejoice when your friend receives an award or recognition. You should encourage her to grow in her relationship with Christ. Being encouraging does not mean sugar coating everything, but remaining positive, even when the situation may seem bleak.

2. IS A TRUTH SPEAKER

A godly friend speaks truth into your life, even when it is difficult to hear. A true friend loves you and genuinely wants the best for you. They will tell you both the good and the bad. She will tell you when she feels that you are walking away from the Lord or if she feels that you have been walking closer with God. She will speak God’s Truth into your life daily.

Jesus had a close friendship with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus to a point where they spoke plainly to him, and he resurrected Lazarus from the dead. True friends are able to speak their minds honestly to one another, whether right or wrong. Meanwhile, friends do what they can to tell each other the truth and help one another.

Luke 10:38 - "As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him." (NIV)

John 11:21-23 - "'Lord,' Martha said to Jesus, 'if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.' Jesus said to her, 'Your brother will rise again.'” (NIV)

3. SAYS THINGS IN LOVE

This one goes hand-in-hand with the point above. If you feel that God is calling you to speak a tough truth into a friend’s life, you must say it in love. Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) and should be exercised throughout a Christian’s life. Speaking a hard truth in gentleness and kindness can strengthen a friendship rather than hurt it.

4. PRAYS FOR YOU

A true and godly friend prays with you and for you. We all go through difficult phases in life and a true friend recognizes the need for a prayerful community and asks how she can pray on your behalf. My close friends and I meet once a week to share our walk with the Lord and even share how we have struggled in our spiritual walk. Having that kind of support and accountability is essential. Sharing your prayers and struggles with your friends is liberating.

5. IS THOUGHTFUL

A good friend thinks of others before herself (Philippians 2:3). She thinks about how she can serve others and encourage others in their walk with the Lord. She remembers birthdays and special days in her friends lives. She is intentional with her friendships and know their purpose is to honor God.

6. IS SECURE IN HER IDENTITY

A good friend recognizes her immeasurable worth in Christ. She is secure in her identity as a daughter of the Most High. She also knows that is your identity as well. That’s why she doesn’t get jealous when you succeed, instead she is the one in the crowd cheering the loudest for you.

7. IS LOYAL

A godly friend sticks by your side even when times are tough. She stands up for you when she needs to and always speaks positively of you. She knows that “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45) and she only uses her words to build you and others up.

Abraham reminds us of loyalty and going above and beyond for friends. Abraham gathered hundreds of men to rescue Lot from captivity.

Genesis 14:14-16 - "When Abram heard that his relative had been taken captive, he called out the 318 trained men born in his household and went in pursuit as far as Dan. During the night Abram divided his men to attack them and he routed them, pursuing them as far as Hobah, north of Damascus. He recovered all the goods and brought back his relative Lot and his possessions, together with the women and the other people." (NIV)

8. FORGIVES

We have all fallen short of God’s grace and are going to make mistakes. It is crucial to be able to forgive a friend when she has wronged you. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” I am so thankful to have had godly friends who have forgiven me when I have wronged them. God calls us to forgive. Don’t confuse this with justifying an abusive friendship. Although you must forgive them, you do not have to remain in a harmful relationship.

9. IS A PEACEMAKER

A good friend cultivates peace in her relationships. She doesn’t revel in drama or discord. She seeks peace and harmony. Matthew 5:9 states, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” She doesn’t look to create unnecessary drama and is happiest when people feel included and loved.

10. BRINGS OUT YOUR BEST

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Friendships are supposed to strengthen your walk with the Lord. A good friend helps you be the best version of yourself. It is also your responsibility as a godly friend to come along side your friends and encourage them.

Being a good friend can be difficult. The secret of being a good friend is to abide in Christ. Remember the purpose of friendship: to honor God. Be the kind of friend God wants you to be. Seek God with all your heart and He will give you the power to be a good friend. Love others the way that Christ loves you and you will become the best friend a girl could ask for.

(REFERENCES:

 RACHEL PROCHNOW

LIVING EASY WITH LINDSEY)