You are WORTH it

BOYS ARE NOT WORTH LOSING OUR WORTH

“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexual immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God with in your body.”

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

I was not a virgin when I got married.

Yep, I told you we were gonna get real and be brutally honest in here, so here I am, being as real and honest with you guys as I possibly can. Its hard for me to write. It’s hard for me to admit to myself that I ever allowed myself to physically be with a man that was not my husband before him.If I could, I would change that, I would’ve waited for him.

This blog post is gonna get uncomfortable and more honest than you could’ve thought.

I was not a virgin when I got married. Looking back now, I wish I would’ve waited. I wish I would’ve taken this whole “sex before marriage thing” more seriously, but I didn’t. I fell short like so many of us do. I was tempted, I had lustful thoughts. I went with the status q and wanted to fit in more than you know. When I was in high school all of my friends were having sex. I was the “odd one in the bunch” because I hadn’t done the deed yet. I can remember my group of girlfriends sitting around talking about all the things they were doing sexually with their boyfriends, I didn’t even know what half of it was, but when it was my turn to talk I made up all these things I was doing but wasn’t actually doing to fit in. I thought if I was saying I was doing it too, I would be cool- and they would keep wanting to be my friend.….But I had always believed, had been taught and raised that sex was something special between one man and one women. Between husband and wife. And I always wanted to lose myself to the man I would be with forever. But, I didnt. I gave in, I followed the crowd and before I knew it, there was no turning back.

I didn’t lose my virginity to someone I loved. At least not really loved. It was that high school puppy love as they call it, (infatuation). It felt like something I was “supposed” to do. We were dating and we had been going out for a while, I’m talking we dated for almost all of high school. He was driving and had a car and after two years of dating, that seemed like the most logical next step to move our relationship forward, right?

He wasn’t a Christian and I was. Which made things even harder. I felt a certain type of pressure that comes from one person being a believer while the other belittles you for it. He didn’t value sex, and I did. We didn’t love each other, not really, not in the way God wants you to. It was convenient, he wanted to do it, and I thought if I had sex with him he would love me or stay with me “forever.”when your young and dating for some reason it’s so easy to think we have to do these things, that it’s our job to do them if we want him to stay with us. But the right boy won’t require it.

Ladies, let me be the first to tell you, sex is not love. Sex is what is supposed to be an act of love. Sex is supposed to honor God through a husband and wife becoming one flesh. At that young age, there was NO WAY, I was emotionally able to understand that. I thought I was. I thought I could handle it. I thought I knew and understood it all.

I gave in. After school, on a summer day, on one of our friends downstairs couches. I thought I should follow through with the things I had said to my friends. It was horrible. I remember walking through the door that night after I got home and I ran straight to my bedroom. We didn’t get to “wake up next to each other the next day” we weren’t on our honeymoon, we were just two high school kids trying things we shouldn’t have been.

When I got to my room, I locked my door jumped on my bed, threw my head in my pillow and cried my eyes out. I couldn’t believe I had just done that. I couldn’t believe I gave away the one thing I was supposed to save for my husband. How would a man ever truly love me after I did that? I remember getting in the shower and scrubbing myself down for about an hour. I thought that maybe I could “wash the dirty off of me” just like God washes our sins…. it didn’t work like that. What’s done was done and I had to live with it. It was only a matter of time until I started getting in big trouble. I lost my parents trust, I lost some of my friends, all because I was having sex and staying out late at night with a boy who didn’t value me.

After that, I basically looked at sex as another thing you do with the person you are going out with. I had already lost my virginity, so why did it matter if I kept doing it now? From then on sex didn’t really seem like such a big deal. Though, in my heart, it was. I was so mad at myself for doing it in the first place, and I knew there was no going back, so I might as well enjoy it now, right?!?! WRONG!

There was no enjoying it. I was miserable. The couple of guys I was with before my husband, were all horrible. I hated sex. I hated the way it felt, and even more I hated the way it made me feel. Every time I had sex I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I couldn’t wait to forget it happened.

When I met my husband, he was pretty experienced in that department. We had both had sex before and we both looked at sex the same way. But with each other, this time, it was different. We valued Sex. We looked at Sex differently. We wanted to respect one another, we wanted to put God first. When we started dating, we instantly fell in love. Not the kind of infatuated puppy love, but real, head over heels, movie kind of love. We both knew from the first date we would spend the rest of our lives together. After our first few dates we had the sex talk. We decided we needed to wait a while to have sex. We both wanted it to mean something. We didn’t want to waste what we had or ruin something that was so good, so right and so pure.

The first time we had sex, I remember feeling something I had never felt before. I actually enjoyed it. I actually liked sex. All this time I thought I was broken. Turns out God was just making me wait for the man I WAS GOING TO MARRY. Now, we are married, and after 3 years, just welcomed our first baby. Crazy how God works, right?

I read a quote that spoke volumes to my life, it said,

“When God sends you the man you are called to be with….

You will know it.

This man will speak not to your flesh, but your spirit. You will experience something that you have never experienced before. He will love you in ways that other men didn’t. Wait. It will be worth it when you meet him.”

-Meyer Settle

This is what I want to say to each of you young ladies;

If you haven’t had sex yet:

To the girls who are still virgins; Take this seriously. Value yourself, and your bodies. Remember what God says to you. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.

That boy that’s telling you he loves you, he’s not worth it. He is not worth losing yourself to. He is not worth losing your parents trust or losing your friends. He is not worth waking up alone. He is not worth your tears, your time, or your troubles. Even when the other girls are having sex, calling you weird, or uncool, remember that you have something they don’t. Your innocents.

To the girls who have had sex:

To the girls who gave in; you are not alone. You are not shameful. You are still a child of the King. You are still a temple of the Holy Spirit. You are still beautiful, you are still worthy. And you can be born again. You can be forgiven, you can wait again. Don’t let one or two bad choices decide your future. God wants you to lean on him, to talk to him, to pray to him, to ask his forgiveness. You will be okay, and you can still find refuge in Jesus.

God says,

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Matthew 26:41

“You are a child of God, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, dearly loved and precious in his sight.”

Psalm 139

My prayer for each of you;

“Dear Jesus,

I ask and pray protection over these girls (and boys.). I ask that you guide them away from sexual immorality and protect them from the ways of the wicked. I ask that you provide them with strength to walk in grace and dignity through you. That they may find comfort and peace in knowing they are strong in faith and wonderfully made in your image. Help the ones who have already been sexually immoral to find forgiveness not only in you but in themselves. I pray that for each of these girls you provide them the guidance and the tools for them to love themselves the way you love them. That they will honor their bodies, their spirits and their minds,

In Christ Jesus,

Amen.”

In God we must find our Worth.

YOU ARE WORTH IT.