Lets talk about SEX baby

Lets face it, Sex is not exactly the topic of conversation we were taught was appropriate to talk about at Sunday dinner, or any other place, for that matter. We were taught that Sex was this ”hush hush“ thing we shouldn't talk about or do. In my Christian upbringing, it was not something we talked about or discussed. When it came to Sex and intimacy in my married life, I was on my own.

Before meeting my husband the ideals and reality of sex was obsolete. I truly did not completely understand Sex, or just how fun it can truly be, especially in marriage. I looked at Sex as just something you are supposed to do, not something you get to do. However, it has taken me time to get to a place where Sex is something I truly understand and now PRIORITIZE in my marriage. Yes. Sex is an absolute priority in our home. No, we are not obsessed, we are not "sex addicts," but we have learned that nothing good comes from depriving your husband or wife from Sex. Not spiritually, not emotionally, and certainly not physically. Whenever Andrew and I are overwhelmed, stressed, tired, or busy, Sex is typically the first thing to go. Pretty soon, it goes from missing those few nights a week to missing an entire week, sometimes longer. By prioritizing Sex, we are helping to ensure that our marriage is staying on course in the way that it should. I think its easy to forget that Sex actually honors the Lord. It helps to strengthen our marriages and keep outside temptations and enemies from lurking in. (1 Corinthians 7:5- "Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a LIMITED time, that you may devote yourself to prayer; but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you, because of your lack of self-control.") We've learned that in order to "stay on course," we have actual scheduled nights a week designated for busting down in the sheets. Some of you may think, well, what's the fun in that? But by doing this, we are more flirtatious throughout the week, and it also leads to more spontaneous sexual encounters with one another. What's so wrong with scheduling Sex? You schedule your day, work schedule, bills, and so much more. Is your marriage not as important? The thing that counts is BALANCE, making a schedule that works for you both and that you can both be comfortable with. Whether its 1,2,3 times a week or more, or every other week, or more, the number is not what matters. What matters is PRIORITIZING your partner and keeping your marriage on course.

Learning to prioritize takes time, and NOT something I’ve always valued.

If you would've talked to me 4 months ago I wouldn't have even given sex a second thought. When I was pregnant with our daughter, I did anything but prioritize Sex. I could've counted on one hand the amount of times we had Sex the entire 9 months I was pregnant-- and it wasn't because of him. At the beginning of my pregnancy I felt a certain beauty I had never felt before, and, my sexuality felt like it was at an all time high. I loved the way I felt, I loved the way I had that “pregnancy glow” everything about me just felt sexy. But that didn’t last long. The further along I became, my sexual desires dwindled- I virtually had no sex drive. As a new mom my body has and was changing. Things didn't look the way they used to. I was no longer the petite, size 2 I used to be. My hips were wider, stretch marks circling around my tummy and hips. I didn't even recognize myself... how could he? How could he want me? Our husbands however, though supportive and kind, have been waiting 9 months for sex to "Get back to normal." Here's the truth, after a baby, even after time in general with your partner, sex will change, and that's okay, because we as women, have changed, our relationships grow and change— But the way we PRIORITIZE does not have to.

1. BE INTENTIONAL

2. COMMUNICATE

3. LISTEN

If you would've asked my husband while I was pregnant, I am sure he would've told you he felt unwanted, neglected, or ultimately just intimately and sexually “put on the back burner.” He was overwhelmingly gracious and kind, but I failed to recognize that my husband had sexual needs and desires and it was my job to PRIORITIZE them just as it was his to PRIORITIZE mine.

( Ephesians 5:33 " However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.")

( Genesis 2:24 " That is why man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one flesh,")

Remember; SEX WITH YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE HONORS GOD

So while you sit down to plan your week, and your schedules, make sure to talk with your spouse about scheduling Sex as well. It is a game changer for your marriage and for keeping your marriage and partner a PRIORITY.

God Bless,

XOXO,

Skylar